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Should I be Thankful?



Thanksgiving Without My Son

I know I’m supposed to be thankful…that’s the Christian way, right? 

This thanksgiving I’m supposed to act like my son didn’t die and like I’m not grieving and like I’m okay just so I don’t make anyone around me uncomfortable. 

I know death makes most people so uncomfortable, so anxious and they never know what to say or how to act. This is why I’m so vocal about baby death (early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant loss).


Back Story

I’ve been vocal since after my first miscarriage, back in 2018. After I got out of what was the darkest days of my life, at the time, I started sharing about miscarriage on my social media.

I didn’t realize how taboo it was until it happened to me, until I found myself feeling so alone, lost, frozen with pain…until I saw how uncomfortable my loved ones were when we even got close to the topic.

The Lord made it clear then that I was to be a voice, at the very least for those around me and use my small platform to reach those who are silent (willingly or unwillingly) about their loss/es.

I knew how painful it was to speak about your miscarriage, so I knew and understood why some women stay silent.

As I began to share statistics, information and my own journey so many women reached out to me via DM (direct message) with their story. I was astounded as to who reached out to me because I would’ve never guessed it!

I’ll forever be grateful to those who were brave enough to open up about such a painful and very private moment in their life. Those who shared their story, their struggles and the fact that they were thankful I gave them the space to share their story.

This, this confirmed what the Lord directed me to do. It showed me WHY I needed to be vocal, why I needed to be a voice.

Never in a million years would I have imagined I’d lose a third baby, and never in a million years did I imagine losing my son so close to his due date.

Even though I’ve been angry at God (future blog on this!), and, even though I don’t believe there is purpose in my son dying, I wholeheartedly believe my life, my stories, my journey have purpose.

I have seen the love and embrace my story has provided for many women and I pray I’m able to reach as many as those who need it.


Thankful

I know you probably didn’t expect this blog to go this direction, but, I needed to give you a background story as to why I’m thankful this Thanksgiving year.

Through the massive pain, the gaping hole in my heart, the emptiness, the heartache of the death of my son Luca, I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for my baby Luca’s life.

I’m thankful I will forever be the only person in this world who got to hold him his entire life.

I’m thankful I got to feel all of his kicks.

I’m thankful I got to meet him and see his beautiful face.

I’m thankful I have pictures to remind me of him and I’ll get to show his future siblings.

I’m thankful he will always know how much mama and papa love him.

I’m thankful I got to say goodbye to him. 

I’m thankful for my light, my miracle, my first-born, my world, my Luca.



Happy Thanksgiving mi niño 💚


To those who walk this loss journey, I hope you find what you’re thankful for and I hope that it will help sustain you 🌻

I’m thankful for YOU.

I’m thankful you’re here.

Im thankful I have people in my community who understand.

✨ May you have a gentle Thanksgiving ✨

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